MV Tynedale Landlubbers Cruise

Start: Thursday 16th February 2023

End: Monday 20th February 2023

Hotel: Tynedale Hotel

Price: £499 pp

This holiday departs from our Main Holiday Pick Up Points

What’s included:

  • 4 nights dinner, bed & breakfast
  • welcome reception & brief introduction to the cruise
  • afternoon teas
  • four course themed dinners
  • French flambe style show cooking
  • Hawaiian Night
  • cabaret entertainment each evening
  • Venetian Masquerade Captain’s Cocktail Party
  • aperitif and canapes reception
  • fun casino and deck games
  • excursion to Anglesey Woollen Mill & Porthmadog
  • excursion to Pontcysyllte Aqueduct
  • heritage railway trip around the Great Orme
  • executive coach travel


  • 6 single rooms with no supplement
  • Premier room upgrade £60 pp


Set sail on the MV Tynedale for a superb Landlubbers “mock” cruise! This wonderful ‘ship’ has been sailing since 1992 and is the hotel’s most popular holiday, featuring four different ports of call around the world

At each port, you’ll meet the locals wearing themed outfits, enjoy themed menus and cruise ship activities, onboard cabaret entertainment and that all-important atmosphere of being ‘at sea’!

Day 1: Paris, France
Arriving port side you’ll receive your passports and enjoy an afternoon tea on the Sundeck Aft, wander around the decks and take a photo beside the ‘Eiffel Tower’

There is a complimentary pre-dinner aperitif and canapes and a brief introduction to the cruise by our Cruise Directors. We prepare to “set sail” as our pilot navigates the tricky river Seine to the English Channel, with a delicious themed dinner and onboard cabaret entertainment, followed by a late night finger buffet at 11pm

Day 2: Acalpulco, Mexico
Breakfast is served as we drop anchor in Acapulco. We disembark for our “shore excursion”, travelling along the coast to Anglesey where we have a stop at the woollen mill before continuing to Porthmadog for free time.

Back on board, we enjoy a delicious afternoon tea, before the fun casino with free chips for everyone to try their hand with Lady Luck. Tonight is our Mexican themed dinner party ‘Fiesta La Quebrada’ before our cabaret entertainment and late night buffet

Day 3: Honolulu, Hawaii

Breakfast is served as we drop anchor in beautiful Honolulu on the isle of Oahu. We disembark for our “shore excursion” where we enjoy a heritage bus trip and guided tour around the Great Orme of Llandudno. The rest of the day is free for us to explore at our leisure. In the afternoon, we are back onboard for an afternoon tea as we watch the highlights of this volcanic island on cinematic screens. Then we get the Beach Party started with chilled music, a cool beer and great cocktails at duty free prices, before our Hawaiian celebration themed dinner, cabaret entertainment and late night finger buffet

Day 4: Venice, Italy

Breakfast is served as we drop anchor in Marittima, the largest of the ship’s basins at the Port of Venice’s Venezia Terminal Passaggeri! We disembark for our “shore excursion” to Piazza Llangollen, where we take a canal trip along the Pontcysyllte Aqueduct and experience the stunning local waterways, marvelling at this incredible feat of engineering which is now a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Back onboard, we have afternoon tea and the opportunity for a photo with our gondolier before deck games.

Tonight is Captain’s Night with our Mysterious and Glamorous Venetian Masquerade Cocktail Party, where you are encouraged to join in and dress for the occasion. We have a delicious themed dinner to celebrate our final night onboard the MV Tynedale, evening entertainment and your final late night buffet

Day 5: Port Llandudno

Breakfast is served as we drop anchor in our home port of Llandudno, where we bid a fond farewell to MV Tynedale until next year!

Your hotel 
The Tynedale Hotel is 4-star rated and is situated in a prime location on Llandudno’s promenade. It offers ensuite bedrooms and a restaurant with a choice menu, as well as bar, ballroom and a lift to all floors

*please note this is an imaginary cruise based at the Tynedale Hotel in Llandudno (you will not be leaving the UK or dry land)